Thursday, June 30, 2011

deatta soshite wakare?

this title, maybe I often said these words before... maybe since I'm a kid, since people come and go as they please in my life.. ah.. maybe I'll speak my mother tongue this moment..

"karena bagiku.. tidak ada pertemuan yang tidak berakhir dengan perpisahan"

kata-kata yamato ini rasanya ngembaliin luka yang udah lama gw tutup, gw simpen rapat2 di dalem hati gw. mungkin udah lama ini gw tutup mata, tapi gw ga sadar kalau ketakutan yang selama ini gw rasain itu cuman tidur,, dan bukan benar-benar lenyap.. sekarang kenapa rasanya bangkit lagi? hahahaha baka darou? baka da..

perasaan seperti ini rasanya jadi seperti nostalgic.. karena sebenarnya sampai kapan gw keiket sama yang namanya masa lalu itu gw ga tau.. apa mungkin selamanya bakal terus keiket? terus ketakutan kayak gini? mou iyada yo..

siapapun, tolong buktiin sama gw, disana ada pertemuan yang ga memerlukan perpisahan, disana ada sesuatu yang bisa benar-benar gw miliki? disana ada sesuatu yang hanya merasakannya aja gw bisa tau kalo gw ga sendirian?

baka.. hontou wa ne, ore wa baka da! jaa.. kalo begini rasanya pengen bikin cerita lagi.. tapi.. KAPAN CERITA GW BISA CHEERFUL?! uhuhuhu sedih mulu bikin cerita, kali2 gw pengen bikin yang ga sedih gitu, yang ga angst..

*ngaku aja lu specialis angst lha! XD*

yasudah, saya sebenernya berniat cuman mau bilang ini aja....

KOBAYASHI YAMATO RESMI MENJADI SHOTA SAYA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *dibakar *


liat... kawaii darou? darou ? darou? hohohohohoho... pipi tembem, chibi, dan dewasa... XDD my shota! XDD

ini bonus... wkwkwk bagaimanapun suami kudu di treat dengan baik dong... hohoho XD cakep kan? LOLOLOL

bye-bee

Friday, June 24, 2011

shout?

ah~ finally I've recovered.. well, even though not totally recover but I don't care.. why should I care anyway ? LOL okay okay.. I should, because this is my own body, right? and I have to take care of my self, right? I know~ XDD

well.. my mood, my life, and the me currently.. not so good, but not so bad. just feel, why everyone think I've changed anyway? is that because the me who used to be cry baby is no longer appear? or is that because now, I looked different? which side? I'm Lha and will be Lha forever who sharp tongue, cry baby, bad mouth, sociable, too much talk and annoying... I will be Lha who will always try to be cool in front of people, try to be strong even though she's freakin fragile, and well... absurd.. that's me~ see? oh... maybe one thing, I'm no longer talking anything about my own problem...

be honest, my dears..
I love you all... I don't want to be a burden for whoever it is.. I'm strong because you all rely on me.. just it, in the end, I'll keep telling you what's wrong with me right? I will run and hug you all and cry like a baby when I can't keep it by my self anymore.. but! as long as I can handle it, please, rely on me... that's my power of life... please tell me what ever you feel.. please call me when you need me.. please anything... share it with me.. because that's my power... to be trust.. that's my power...

hei...

we're born in this planet was destined to be together like an orion... that's what I believed... so please, that's not mean I don't need you or I didn't believe you at all.. not!! because... world will be balance if I do this, right? help and to be helped.. rely on and to be relied.. that's what the world is work... and I'll do it too.. for who ? of course for you all... not for me.. the hell I care if it was about me..

hei...

smile for me, okay? I have too much burden too, but! I know that yours is more and more... so, please, be happy... be smile... and.. one thing again...


please... rely on me..

please.. call me,...

please.. don't think anything about me...

please... I'm not changed at all and I won't do it forever...

please... you don't want me to cry, right? :D

so please.... dears... my Orion...

smile for me.. okay? but from the bottom of your heart.. because it's my power...

okay?

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

sudah saatnya perahuku melaju kembali..

aku tau kekuasaannya.. jika hanya aku yang berharap dengan semua ini, apalah artinya hatiku untuk seseorang itu? walau banyak orang menganggapku hebat, tapi kehebatanku sama sekali tak menyentuh hatinya.. sekarang, dimana perahuku mencapai suatu pelabuhan dimana pelabuhan itu sebenarnya bukan tujuan dari perahuku yang sebenarnya, tapi perahuku tetap menunggu kepastian. kepastian akan kebenaran tujuan sebenarnya dari perahuku.. bukan aku ingin menjadi seperti istri dari Nabi Muhammad SAW, karena aku belum bisa mencapai kebaikan dan ketaatannya, aku masih jasad berlumur dosa yang masih mengharap ridho-Nya. tapi bukankah setiap manusia berhak untuk bahagia?

itulah mengapa sekarang aku mengerti, sekarang aku menyadari.. jalan hidupku bukan untuk berhenti di pelabuhan yang salah, jalan hidupku bukan untuk murung dan termenung dikala sesuatu menimpa hatiku. tapi jalan hidupku adalah untuk menggapai tujuan sebenarnya dari perahu ku itu. dan tujuan itu adalah mengarahkanku untuk terus berjalan ke arah pelabuhan yang benar walau aku tau pelabuhan ini tidak akan pernah aku lupakan karena itu indah dan pernah menyejukan hatiku.. walau aku tidak tahu kapan saatnya perahu ini akan berlayar..

tapi..

aku yakin perahuku sudah siap dengan segala bahan bakar ikhlas dan semangat untuk maju dan hanya menunggu untuk berlayar melintasi samudera dan menemukan pelabuhan yang tepat sampai nanti... :D

just wanna shout out.. this is my true feeling now... tired.. but I won't leave him.. at least, maybe he can be my brother.. :D

bye bee~ XD

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I WILL LET THIS OUT!! I LOVE YOU!!

okay.. maybe this tittle is kinda weird..why? because I'm just feeling weird. because I wanna let this out. I have a crush. and he's not only my crush, but my best friend.. crazy? well I know this getting crazy.. I shouldn't have a feeling towards him actually.. but.. but.. huweee~ I don't know anymore whether I live in dreamland or reality.. someone help me!! I love him!!

but I know exactly that I'm just get in unrequited love.. but shouganai.. this feeling is getting bigger time to time.. I wanna let this feeling off.. because they are my best friend.. I shouldn't have a feeling for them. yeah. I know.. my love just for Kazehaya, Seijitan and Oz.. enough! I LOVE THEM!! and also.. my bunny DAIKI ARIOKA! XDD

okay.. I start to like winds and uverworld.. their voice just HILARIOUS!! COOL!! I LOVE THEM!! I think I start to like the way they sing.. cool!! let's find another song from them.. hohoho

bye-bee~~