Suddenly it's 2017!!

Uhm, so, hello! I am trying to be active on writing again since too many trash on my mind and sometimes it made me fed up. The best resolution is going back to this blog and write every trashes on my mind and it becomes something at least laughable in the future. LOL

Happy new year. I actually always post something in the first month of the year but end up not writing anything until the end of the year lol I need to control my forgetful and swings habit to make myself at least useful. lmao. Suddenly the year turned into 2017 and here  I am, still being a potato. why am I potato? lmao

Feeling sad over everything is becoming my habit nowadays and somehow I enjoy the feeling HAHAH not that I am a masochist, but sometimes, it is easier that way. I was always bad at expressing my feelings so becoming sad for no reason is my habit to relieve my stress even though only a bit. I think maybe I got too anxious facing this year. maaaan, it's my limit of the year. Limit on deciding which workplace I enjoy with, or will I get married? hahahaha

Seriously though, I am not young anymore. Well, my body and voice might still as young as teenage out there, but my age number is increasing year by year. I kind of anxious I would end up alone for the rest of my life. The community which I am in now are full with youngsters and can you imagine how great my anxiety for knowing that fact? huhu. It's hard. In the other side, I think age is only number. But in the other side again, I don't think I can careless about this fact since time passed way too fast and getting older is only a matter of time. It's too obvious. I am sad. will I remain the same? or something surprising might happen in the future and I should stop predicting anything? uh I don't know anymore. I think, becoming forever young is good but the fact is, it is not. Especially if you start having interest over younger. AHHAHA do I have a time to do so? is age really only a matter of number so I shouldn't worry about that? once again, will I end up alone for the rest of my life???? uhuhuuhhu

uhm, I don't think it is a right thing to have an interest towards a boy since his future is not yet to be seen and the age gap is too wide, it's like I am having a cruh on baby. lmao. but, listening to his voice and having a notification from him even though just a reply of my chat, I feel extremely happy. Maybe I am just excited since I got too many unrequited and the feeling of getting to know someone new is so big. But, his active mind and theories never stop amusing me. Listening to his thought and his advice are becoming my habit too. He actually tends to be sooo tense about his life, and his confidence is below average. But the way he thinks is totally unique and I found it...lovely. I am weird. hahaha

well, happy new year and have a nice day!!

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